bad day

so im having bad day... one of those days where u just feel awful... so today im not goin to be my regular self.... today im not gonna see the brighter side... today im gonna be pissed off and frustrated and i'm lettin little shit that shouldnt matter get to me.... im not gonna be strong.... im not gonna feel anything but the pain i feel... cuz ffrankly i wish i didnt have to feel but i do.. so today i choice not to fight it and just let the pain sink in.....cuz u first gotta feel the pain of the wound to let it heal.....i dont think that the world is hopeless... and yes i know im trully blessed but right im just frustrated and hurt and confused and i just feel like giving up... but only for a day.... give me some time and ill bounce right bak,,,, but right now... im just riding out this bad day

weight of the world

This is me.... i constantly feel like i have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders... like i have to fix everything... do everything... and i;m constantly being mocked with the fact that i cannt always do everything....that by doing one thing i can;t do another.... that i am limited... constantly bound by the skin im in... by the body im in.... i feel like i am bigger then my body.... and for some reason it is hard for me to accept that this... that as big as my spirit is... as big as my dreams and hopes are.... i do have limits....and although i reach for the starts... sometimes i can only goes has high as my arms will reach... why is it soo hard to accept what i already noe... i'm good with acceptance.... i guess i can accept the things that are out of my control.. out of my reach... but when it feels like i cann do something.. or that its so close inn my reach.. i cant accept letting go... i cant accept what i see and i i have to go on how i feel....

Oprah says that you can have it all... u just cant have it all at once... but sometimes i wonder can i really ever have it all..??/

Chicken soup

my chicken noodle soup for the soul... 1. my mom, 2. is dance

i'll start with dance, had dance class today and i felt like i found myself again. like the person inside of me has been awaken. it felt so good that eventhough i was tired, eventhough my body ache to push forward and do the moves, and as i did the moves i felt so powerful, and so strong, it was wha my soul needed , especially when earliear to i was going through a lot of self doubt, and to find that strenght again was impowering. my dance life still isnt completee but its getting better.

Universal lessson from this, find something that you love and stick with it no matter what, and the thing you love will push you, tire u out annd make you want to givve up, but when u don;t give up and push forward thats how you know you love it, thats how you noe it was meant for u.

1. my mom, somehow talks with my mom ease my thoughts, worries and makes me less anxious. she has to wondersful ability to tell me what already know... but was to confused to realize it and offer the right advice at the right time. but dont get me wrong she still drives me crazy sometimes,, but hey thats wut mothers are for right.....they drive you crazy but in the ennd your realize that they are abosolutely perfect and are exactly what you need.

end note: find your children nooodle soup.. that thing that picks you up whenn your sick of life.